c***@volcanomail.com
2005-11-11 16:15:00 UTC
Well, I am very unhappy. I have no friends and am extremely distant
from my family. Should I get some friends first so I can be happy, or
should I get happy so people will want to be my friend?
I need to find friends right away. I have no happiness to offer
anybody, I only have pessimism and depression. But others can offer me
happiness. The only way I can be happy is through others, but I'm not
the kind of person that emanates happiness or brightness to others,
unless they give me brightness first. Then I feel happy and then I can
give them brightness. But I'm unable to initiate anything with people
in a friendly way. Only if they're friendly to me first.
I need to find people right away. I'm in a state of depression such
that I can't take my time. My need is reaching emergency levels. I've
found that the amount of TTTTTIIIIIIMMMMME it takes to actually get to
know anybody is INCREDIBLE. Normally, that is. And then you don't
even meet the right people -- you meet people you're not particularly
compatable with. How in the world do you meet the right people? I
mean, I work and I volunteer, but it just does not put me in contact
with a large number of people -- just whoever. There are only certain
people I can really become friends with, and at the rate this is going,
the chances seem slim that I will ever meet them.
I mean I work with 5 co-workers, and those five people unfortunately do
not happen to be people where there's mutual interest in friendship.
So if I want to make any friends through work I have to wait until
somebody quits, then I will get the chance to meet one other person.
This just doesn't seem to be the right method. I need to be meeting
lots and lots of people in order to find the right people. Seeing the
same 5 people every day is not helping my chances of making friends.
But what else is there? I volunteer, but there are also only a few
people I meet through that. Basically nobody volunteers these days
except senior citizens. I have nothing against them but I do want to
make friends in my own age group. I'm 32.
I'm just trying to think of how to meet a lot of people and I'm not
coming up with much. I'm not interested in bars, and even if I were, I
don't think they're truly a good place to meet people who could become
friends. Besides the fact that I rarely drink anyway.
I've tried meeting women online, but oh my God, the male to female
ratio of people seeking friends or dating online is unbelievable. I
estimate it's at least four men for every woman, but it could be a lot
more lopsided. Oh, I'm a man by the way. I've tried the online thing
many times and overall find it an extremely inefficient way to meet
women--comparing the amount of energy spent with the results I've
gotten, it's pretty darn near just crying out in the wilderness, miles
from any other person. I mean nobody even bothers to contact me, even
to just say "hi." When I do get contacted, I have heard things from
women like "i'm getting bombarded with messages from men, I can't
handle this." Think of how that makes me feel about my chances.
So what else is left? I need a way to meet many, many people,
immediately. My God, there are millions of people in this state. It's
the most densely populated state in the country. Yet everybody just
goes home and watches TV. There's no place to meet anybody. I just
don't get it. There's gotta be something I can do. Anybody know what
it is?
I realize women may not think I'm the best catch. I have a good
college education but I make less than half the average salary for a
man my age with my education, and as far as career there is no doubt
that I have been very unsuccessful. So I guess I can't expect the best
women, but there's got to be some women out there who would like to
know me. I don't have any social network, so I can't meet them that
way. I have no friends who can introduce me to their friends. So what
do I do? There's got to be something. I can't keep living like this.
I can't take no for an answer -- there's got to be something. This is
getting so desperate I'm considering just walking up to random women on
the sidewalk. I know that'll get me nowhere, but I don't know what
else to do besides sit and wallow in misery.
I have to take action. This waiting is killing me.
John
from my family. Should I get some friends first so I can be happy, or
should I get happy so people will want to be my friend?
I need to find friends right away. I have no happiness to offer
anybody, I only have pessimism and depression. But others can offer me
happiness. The only way I can be happy is through others, but I'm not
the kind of person that emanates happiness or brightness to others,
unless they give me brightness first. Then I feel happy and then I can
give them brightness. But I'm unable to initiate anything with people
in a friendly way. Only if they're friendly to me first.
I need to find people right away. I'm in a state of depression such
that I can't take my time. My need is reaching emergency levels. I've
found that the amount of TTTTTIIIIIIMMMMME it takes to actually get to
know anybody is INCREDIBLE. Normally, that is. And then you don't
even meet the right people -- you meet people you're not particularly
compatable with. How in the world do you meet the right people? I
mean, I work and I volunteer, but it just does not put me in contact
with a large number of people -- just whoever. There are only certain
people I can really become friends with, and at the rate this is going,
the chances seem slim that I will ever meet them.
I mean I work with 5 co-workers, and those five people unfortunately do
not happen to be people where there's mutual interest in friendship.
So if I want to make any friends through work I have to wait until
somebody quits, then I will get the chance to meet one other person.
This just doesn't seem to be the right method. I need to be meeting
lots and lots of people in order to find the right people. Seeing the
same 5 people every day is not helping my chances of making friends.
But what else is there? I volunteer, but there are also only a few
people I meet through that. Basically nobody volunteers these days
except senior citizens. I have nothing against them but I do want to
make friends in my own age group. I'm 32.
I'm just trying to think of how to meet a lot of people and I'm not
coming up with much. I'm not interested in bars, and even if I were, I
don't think they're truly a good place to meet people who could become
friends. Besides the fact that I rarely drink anyway.
I've tried meeting women online, but oh my God, the male to female
ratio of people seeking friends or dating online is unbelievable. I
estimate it's at least four men for every woman, but it could be a lot
more lopsided. Oh, I'm a man by the way. I've tried the online thing
many times and overall find it an extremely inefficient way to meet
women--comparing the amount of energy spent with the results I've
gotten, it's pretty darn near just crying out in the wilderness, miles
from any other person. I mean nobody even bothers to contact me, even
to just say "hi." When I do get contacted, I have heard things from
women like "i'm getting bombarded with messages from men, I can't
handle this." Think of how that makes me feel about my chances.
So what else is left? I need a way to meet many, many people,
immediately. My God, there are millions of people in this state. It's
the most densely populated state in the country. Yet everybody just
goes home and watches TV. There's no place to meet anybody. I just
don't get it. There's gotta be something I can do. Anybody know what
it is?
I realize women may not think I'm the best catch. I have a good
college education but I make less than half the average salary for a
man my age with my education, and as far as career there is no doubt
that I have been very unsuccessful. So I guess I can't expect the best
women, but there's got to be some women out there who would like to
know me. I don't have any social network, so I can't meet them that
way. I have no friends who can introduce me to their friends. So what
do I do? There's got to be something. I can't keep living like this.
I can't take no for an answer -- there's got to be something. This is
getting so desperate I'm considering just walking up to random women on
the sidewalk. I know that'll get me nowhere, but I don't know what
else to do besides sit and wallow in misery.
I have to take action. This waiting is killing me.
John